Why do we repeat 'The Pattern'?

Have you ever experienced a situation or a relationship and thought, 'is this deja vu'?

Well, in a sense, yes.. yes it is! Many people repeat the same actions (unconsciously), which leads to reoccurring circumstances throughout their lives. Now this isn't necessarily

a bad thing, BUT if it is leading to repetitive toxic relationships or non-ideal outcomes...then it should be something to consider working on.

Our default thought process and habits are planted in us during childhood and molds how we interact with others and ourselves (see inner child healing). This programming determines how we from relationships, routines, and other daily activities. If this foundational basis is effected by trauma in any way, it greatly alters the way a person will behave.

Many humans are oblivious to the matrix they seem to be stuck in...wondering "why do I keep going through the same thing?" , but never actually realizing that their unconsciousness is what's keeping them in a continuous loop.

Repetition Compulsion : is the unconscious tendency of a person to repeat a traumatic event or its circumstances. This may take the form of symbolically or literally re-enacting the event, or putting oneself in situations where the event is likely to occur again.

Acknowledgment is the first step in processing the underlying cause to act or respond a certain way. Most people never become aware of their internal narrative or how they operate in the world, because of how disconnected they are with themselves; especially if they have experienced trauma. Establishing a connection with your emotions & subconscious will be essential in uncovering the root cause of the Repetition Compulsion (I highly suggest working with a trained professional if you decide to dig through traumatic events from your past).

Some practices that can help you reconnect with repressed memories or suppressed emotions are - talk therapy, meditation, somatic yoga, and journaling.

Repression: involuntary act of 'forgetting' painful memories or emotions.

Suppression: conscious choice to avoid uncomfortable feelings and situations.

Once you determine an understanding of what drives certain behavior, you can start to adjust how it effects all the different areas of your life. For example- putting others' needs before your own (this can manifest in intimate relationships, in the work place, with friends, etc.), can be a result of 'care taking' or 'people pleasing'. Most individuals with this personality trait can be easily taken advantage of or have their basic needs dismissed by others. By breaking this cycle, you will be able to address your own needs and confidently express them to others! Standing up for what you want and ensuring that the people in your life respect your energy is majorly important for healthy relationships.

Doing this type of work is not easy. It can be both mentally and emotionally triggering, but it is necessary in order to reveal the cause of certain behaviors. Re-programming your mentality will take time.. remember, these characteristics were probably adopted in childhood.. so it'll take awhile in order to properly integrate a new way of doing things.

If you choose to tackle the responsibility of addressing and adjusting your 'patterns' - just know that you are attempting something that most people are scared to do & you should take pride in that!